When I moved into my current home, I hadn’t imagined reconnecting with one of my best friends and marrying him within a year. When we got married, we hadn’t anticipated COVID-19, and my sister moving in with us the following year. When we all moved in together, we hadn’t imagined that the way we had traditionally worked would change drastically, and that we would sometimes feel fatigue simply from being around so many people in person.

Sound familiar?

Today, as I talk to my loved ones and dear friends, I hear their stories of living lives they hadn’t imagined, which sometimes turn their stomachs. My stomach still turns with uncertainty too. Why? We couldn’t have predicted what would happen, or make things happen that are completely outside our control.

I never know quite what’s over the hill or around the next bend! My relationship with uncertainty cannot be helped, in part because of my human characteristics and in part because of my profession. The professional piece is self-inflicted because it is a fixture of my day job. In that, I don’t always know in advance what my next few months or years will look like and whether I will live in the United States or overseas. I rely, in part, on other people to make the various wheels turn, and I have no control over their decisions, timelines, or situations that may befall them.

Flexibility and adaptability are necessary personality ingredients I need to survive. That doesn’t mean it gets emotionally easier to deal with uncertainty, which I am encountering now as I transition from one position to another in my day job. Dealing with uncertainty does get more practiced. And as with all things we practice, the more we do, the better we get at them!

I tend to stew on uncertainties because I like dealing with issues head-on. Against my better judgment, I can’t avoid the thoughts, so I indulge them. That’s when the strategic planner in me shines: “In Scenario A, I’ll do this, and if I’m in Scenario B, I could do that. And I need to think about Contingency X or Y.”

My strategizing out loud often irks my husband and sister, who are themselves dealing with turning stomachs due to uncertainties in their own lives. They aren’t always prepared to hear my next plan to mitigate them!

In rare moments, I deal with uncertainty through avoidance: don’t think about the issues that are plaguing my insides with the clamor of, “What will happen next? How will I deal with X? What will I do?”

Sometimes, as with disappointments, I eat my way through the uncertainty. On my coffee table sits a coaster from one of my best friends, reminding me, “Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.”

This weekend, as I dealt with several elements of uncertainty, my sister did something amazing for me. She took me to a beautiful health and wellness facility in which we immersed ourselves in hydrotherapy, saunas, steam inhalation, and surprisingly delicious and healthy eating. For several hours, the activity together took me away from the pestering of my mind. It also gave us quality time together.

Uncertainty is not just a part of my day job: the reality is that it’s a part of all of our lives. We can’t predict events, people’s reactions, or elements around us outside our control. And we might want to curl up in a ball and hide away from all the uncertainty. But now that we’re “adulting,” we can’t do that – there are too many responsibilities we have on our plates! So, we have to deal with uncertainties head-on, and we need to do so in a healthy, balanced manner.

I can’t give you a recipe to deal wonderfully with uncertainty; I’m figuring that out myself – every day. What I will say is try. Try taking care of yourself, resting, eating, avoidance if it helps for a short time, strategic planning so that you can mitigate the effects of what uncertainties will bring, and then try giving yourself some grace. That’s what I’m working on!